Damn

Currently I'm in a deep deppression. I don't know if I'm going back to my happy self again... Right now it doesn't look like it. Even though I try!

But I'm not going to type here so much anymore. Didn't want to ruin Optimistland with silly things. So I made a new blog about that. There I write exactly what I feel like. Can be happy things, or it can be sad things. I'm just lost right now, so I put up a proper title and.. follow it if you like:

http://i-lostme.blogspot.com/

Hope to you see you soon! Be happy for me! OK? ... I'm gonna hold you to that! Bye!

Night Chat

Again I'm feeling awfully chatterish(is that a word o.O? Social!) and I don't have any to chat with! So I'm posting here again XD As always when I'm social and.. Well, you know the drill..

It's the 20th November now ^^ And I have so many plans o.o I'm starting to feel a little panic... How am I going to fit in with everything o.o? I'm of course talking about my dolls XD As usual! And my sewing projects have been many! But I've also begun on the story for them! And that is fun ^^ But I'm not taking my time to finish it -.- Well.. Anyway! Right now I'm sewing a piece for Julien (my oldest doll) and I've washed fabric today for that piece ^^ That's why it's taking so long time to do it -.- I would have begun with the project on friday, but I was overthinking and couldn't get a hold on my ideas before saturday. So that's why it's taking so long time. Also a private matter came up so my work was slown down even more. So I don't know when this is finished... I've beginning to think of the next project too.. I'm gonna sew a shirt for Loid(my second doll) but I also have to color it so that may take two days... If I work non-stop. I don't know if he needs new pants or not. I'll have to consider the time for that. Also I'm gonna sew something for a friend's doll which I'm borrowing over christmas and I don't know how much time that will take o.o Also I HAVE to sew them all santa-hats XD And no one can make me change my mind! Oh! And I have something for Yume too, and I don't know how much time that will make o.o

.... Why do I always have so many projects in mind -.-? Oh! And Julien is getting another outfit for christmas XD ... I know I should take it easy! But it's not that easy when you have a brain that searches for ideas all the time! Meow o.o When I wrote all that stuff that is waiting for me... I became very tired o.O Can't understand why XD But I think I'm gonna wrap this up.. I'm getting too tired and I need to sleep. But I can write again when I'm done with all that I have planned XD .... Or when I'm done with all the stuff I have mentioned! Because I have more than that planned for my dolls. But that's the stuff that needs to be done before christmas XD Yeah! Well... I'm gonna write here again!

Bye for now ^^ Wich me luck XD

Ghost of the Past

Sometimes I wish I could talk to you. I wonder how you feel.. If you're lost in a world where nothing makes sense. I wish there was a way I could talk to you without the actual talk. I can't say I miss you, but I still care about you. Thinking of you. Wondering about you. You said that you couldn't open up to anyone but me... I know that was a long time ago, but I kind of hoped that it was still true. You betrayed my trust. You made me feel horrible everytime I spoke to you. You lied to me in several occasions and blamed it on your trust issue. Everything changed and you kept hurting me over and over again. And I forgave you over and over again. I told you I couldn't live without you and it felt like you took advantage of it. Like it didn't mattered what you put me through because I'll always forgive you. You walked over me more than a hundred times. And it feels like you don't even realize that. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.

You got so panicked when I told you that we shouldn't speak to each other anymore. You were shocked and.. I think I told you more than you wanted to hear. But that was the only way I could get you to listen to what I was saying. But I'm not the only victim in this peace. I haven't treated you the way you deserved, I would've given everything to make you smile again, but... in the end whatever I tried seemed to be wrong. It didn't mattered what I said or did, I couldn't make you smile again. It crushed me.

You don't know how happy I become when I see your name on my "visit-list". At least that shows me that you're still alive. That makes me happy. I'm sorry that I didn't stood up for you more than I did. I know that it wasn't just I who lost a friend. You did too. I'm hoping that you'll find better friends that can treat you better than I did. I'm hoping you'll feel better soon too.

I'm never gonna forget you.

Sewing day in and day out

Hi everybody! Have you missed me ^^? *paus for everyones screams* ALL RIGHT! I'm sorry I haven't posted anything here o.o Or at my movieblog.. I have reason for the movieblog however ^^ I have worked my ass off all day for a month! So I haven't had the time to see new movies. Well.. I saw that.. Not without my daughter but that was based off a true story so write about that seemed out of place o.o So I couldn't write about that... But it seems that I'm having more time now so... Hopefully soon, this week, I'll have a new movie to write about.

Why I haven't written here: Because I don't have anything to write o.o Nothing is happening in my life (I know that seems unlikely but it's true o.o) I'm just sewing, eating and sleeping.. EVERY DAY! Just sewing, eating and sleeping. Sewing, eating and sleeping... Nothing else is happening! So to write about that seemed compeletly pointless! ... Since I'm writing it on my FB XD Haha! But yeah...

So this is what I've been doing:

Four shirts, one hoodie, one skirt, one pair of pants, two pair of underwear, one stuffed animal (Which I'm not doing again) and a bag. Every piece took three days to make and then I sew from 11 am to 1 am... I'm really tired XD

This is what I have left:

One pair of armwarmer, bedcovers (as well as a bed) and one skirt, PLUS three halloween outfits. I'm gonna learn how to sew socks too so that I have left. After that I'm gonna play some games and watch movies because I can't sew anymore for a while o.o My body is shaking because it's so tired from all the sewing!

Oh! And this is all for my BJD-dolls ^^ So you see why I haven't written here in a while XD? Why I don't have time to watch movies? Litterly when I wake up I start sewing until I go to bed. And why do I do it? Because I love it and I have a real talent for it XD So don't feel sorry for me. It's my choice to do this :P

Well.. That was my lunch... Now I'm gonna get back to my sewing :P The last shirt is done, I just need to wait for the paint to dry and now... I'm gonna begin with the skirt. Bye!

Endless rambling and the ending of a normal day

Right now... I'm a wreck. I want someone to talk to but.. I can't talk to anyone. Either I get a silly answer like "ok o.o" which is NOT what I need right now.. Or I get something like "I'm gonna punch everyone whos mean to you!" or "Just screw them it's nothing to get worked up from" .. Or they would change the subject and make it about them. Not what I need now either.

I shouldn't really write this here, but... I'm lonely. And everytime I feel lonely I turn to this blog because somehow typing here makes me feel better. Probably because I get the stuff out of my head or I'm just so chatty so I get to a more cheerful topic and... You who read this blog know how chatty I can be and how I'm like a Simpsons episode. Start on one topic and end on a completely different note.

I'm kind of frustrated right now. There's a person I've been starting to talk to who says she's cutting herself and she's going to kill herself and it's so "poor me poor me!" I can't hols myself from trying to reach out to them. I say harsh things but they're mostly, MOSTLY true and I'm just trying to make them realize that what they're doing is incredibly selfish and no one is going to endure that.

I've always done it and I've always succeeded (incredibly enough) ............ OMG! *reading something* Now I'm so mad my hands are shaking! I wanna punch something! Thank God for Wii right?

Leaving that topic now! I have my thoughts on a new novel... Yeah, everytime I leave a topis it's about work. Can I help it that I love my work so much XD? Anyway! I've already(I think) given away that my next novel is going to be a real life romance. And I'm really excited on writing it. I know how I'm gonna begin it and... I've said all that stuff on my FB so I'm not typing it here again. If you've missed it.. Bad for you XD

But I still haven't finished the novel I'm writing now.. And I love the characters in it. I've been thinking of writing them both at the same time but I know how it gets -.- I write the other, got stuck in that and I never finish the other... That always happens... So.. I'm gonna finsih this one until I start with a new one. There's just one problem (Isn't it always?)

... But I'm not gonna tell you XD Hihi! I don't want to talk too much about it! That's mostly why I'm repeating myself over and over XD Yeah.. See how the smileys are coming up now? I'm starting to calm down XD All thanks to this blog!

Well.. I'm gonna wrap this up now... Just saying one last thing. Thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for all my followers who endure my long posts and endless rambling XD

... Maybe I should start on the next novel o.O I have so much inspiration for it. Hmm..

Bye! ^^ Mata ne!

Movieblog!

Read my movieblog too XD See me write nonsense about a movie I've just saw. It's really fun! And if you're following this blog you should read that too! All kinds of movies and recomendation! ^^

www.kagismovieblog.blogspot.com

From a Fan!

LM.C again!

It's been a while since I've mentioned them so Scchh!
I'm missing them a lot, yes I do. I still remember all the good times we had *space wannabiez* .... OK! I haven't talked to them only went to those concerts but still!
I want them to come back to Sweden! But I'm not gonna nag about it no.

...

I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN
I WANT THEM TO COME TO SWEDEN

... Not nagging XD Nope!
But they're so awsome! I wonder when they're gonna release their new album. Are they even working on it or are they gonna release a new single first? I don't know... Although I DO know that everything that they put before us is gonna be AWSOME!

... Ok, I'm gonna stop now before I lose everyone who keeps track of this blog :P Have a great day everyone! Always happy when you think of LM.C! ^^