Sometimes I wish I could talk to you. I wonder how you feel.. If you're lost in a world where nothing makes sense. I wish there was a way I could talk to you without the actual talk. I can't say I miss you, but I still care about you. Thinking of you. Wondering about you. You said that you couldn't open up to anyone but me... I know that was a long time ago, but I kind of hoped that it was still true. You betrayed my trust. You made me feel horrible everytime I spoke to you. You lied to me in several occasions and blamed it on your trust issue. Everything changed and you kept hurting me over and over again. And I forgave you over and over again. I told you I couldn't live without you and it felt like you took advantage of it. Like it didn't mattered what you put me through because I'll always forgive you. You walked over me more than a hundred times. And it feels like you don't even realize that. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.
You got so panicked when I told you that we shouldn't speak to each other anymore. You were shocked and.. I think I told you more than you wanted to hear. But that was the only way I could get you to listen to what I was saying. But I'm not the only victim in this peace. I haven't treated you the way you deserved, I would've given everything to make you smile again, but... in the end whatever I tried seemed to be wrong. It didn't mattered what I said or did, I couldn't make you smile again. It crushed me.
You don't know how happy I become when I see your name on my "visit-list". At least that shows me that you're still alive. That makes me happy. I'm sorry that I didn't stood up for you more than I did. I know that it wasn't just I who lost a friend. You did too. I'm hoping that you'll find better friends that can treat you better than I did. I'm hoping you'll feel better soon too.
I'm never gonna forget you.
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