Feeling worse

Iknow, lately I haven't been so social with my friends. I haven't been so active on MSN.. or here. There is no personal reason, there is.. no reason for you to think that I've abandoned you all. I've just been keeping me busy. And I know that's my excuse everytime XD I'm sorry..

Yeah, I have been busy. Not just physically, I mean I have been working on several projects, my head is ready to explode with all these thoughts and my sleeping problems have come back.

Everytime I have a nightmare I sleep through the whole night, but I wake up sweaty and hyperventiling. When I don't have a nightmare I wake up in the middle of the night, super tired, turning and twisting just to get some sleep. So the sleeping problems is making me a little irritated because I'm tired. Also with my high fantasy... My nightmares are not to play with. I had one that came true and the other is really messing with my relationship with a special person. Don't want to talk about it! I'm just saying that this really is mindboggling.

Also I'm drawing a short serie right now for a friend that's not feeling very well. So I put very high expactations of me because I want that serie to be perfect down to every detail. Wich also makes me scared and thinking that she might not like it. That's that, and I'm also working on a small serie to my homepage, I was going to make one page serie, but now my mind gives me ideas for a whole story... So my mind is giving me pieces of scenes for this one page serie that I started with XD So I'm trying to block that while I'm struggeling with my sleep and my nightmares and every drawing I'm doing.

And then I have the story. I'm trying to get me my inspiration back to that but.. The only thing that comes to me is my drawings. So that is keeping me busy too and I also must finish my novels. I have two ideas for my next novels and I just have to write them. But without inspiration to write, I can't write.

And there's two more things but it's private. If you know me you can just ask.

My family is also nagging about me getting a job, and I know I must get it, but I'm doing what I can right now and I can't do more than what I'm doing.. So can everyone just stop nag! Please?

So... Can you now understand why I'm not so social? I've got... A LOT on my mind right now and I'm trying to deal with everything. I'm just hoping that my friends have patients with me and those who don't... Well, how can you expect me to have patient with you if you don't have patient with me?

I feel abandoned and used by a lot of my friends right now. It's probably why I put this up.

Hope you have a better day! Bye everyone!