Night Chat

Again I'm feeling awfully chatterish(is that a word o.O? Social!) and I don't have any to chat with! So I'm posting here again XD As always when I'm social and.. Well, you know the drill..

It's the 20th November now ^^ And I have so many plans o.o I'm starting to feel a little panic... How am I going to fit in with everything o.o? I'm of course talking about my dolls XD As usual! And my sewing projects have been many! But I've also begun on the story for them! And that is fun ^^ But I'm not taking my time to finish it -.- Well.. Anyway! Right now I'm sewing a piece for Julien (my oldest doll) and I've washed fabric today for that piece ^^ That's why it's taking so long time to do it -.- I would have begun with the project on friday, but I was overthinking and couldn't get a hold on my ideas before saturday. So that's why it's taking so long time. Also a private matter came up so my work was slown down even more. So I don't know when this is finished... I've beginning to think of the next project too.. I'm gonna sew a shirt for Loid(my second doll) but I also have to color it so that may take two days... If I work non-stop. I don't know if he needs new pants or not. I'll have to consider the time for that. Also I'm gonna sew something for a friend's doll which I'm borrowing over christmas and I don't know how much time that will take o.o Also I HAVE to sew them all santa-hats XD And no one can make me change my mind! Oh! And I have something for Yume too, and I don't know how much time that will make o.o

.... Why do I always have so many projects in mind -.-? Oh! And Julien is getting another outfit for christmas XD ... I know I should take it easy! But it's not that easy when you have a brain that searches for ideas all the time! Meow o.o When I wrote all that stuff that is waiting for me... I became very tired o.O Can't understand why XD But I think I'm gonna wrap this up.. I'm getting too tired and I need to sleep. But I can write again when I'm done with all that I have planned XD .... Or when I'm done with all the stuff I have mentioned! Because I have more than that planned for my dolls. But that's the stuff that needs to be done before christmas XD Yeah! Well... I'm gonna write here again!

Bye for now ^^ Wich me luck XD

Ghost of the Past

Sometimes I wish I could talk to you. I wonder how you feel.. If you're lost in a world where nothing makes sense. I wish there was a way I could talk to you without the actual talk. I can't say I miss you, but I still care about you. Thinking of you. Wondering about you. You said that you couldn't open up to anyone but me... I know that was a long time ago, but I kind of hoped that it was still true. You betrayed my trust. You made me feel horrible everytime I spoke to you. You lied to me in several occasions and blamed it on your trust issue. Everything changed and you kept hurting me over and over again. And I forgave you over and over again. I told you I couldn't live without you and it felt like you took advantage of it. Like it didn't mattered what you put me through because I'll always forgive you. You walked over me more than a hundred times. And it feels like you don't even realize that. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.

You got so panicked when I told you that we shouldn't speak to each other anymore. You were shocked and.. I think I told you more than you wanted to hear. But that was the only way I could get you to listen to what I was saying. But I'm not the only victim in this peace. I haven't treated you the way you deserved, I would've given everything to make you smile again, but... in the end whatever I tried seemed to be wrong. It didn't mattered what I said or did, I couldn't make you smile again. It crushed me.

You don't know how happy I become when I see your name on my "visit-list". At least that shows me that you're still alive. That makes me happy. I'm sorry that I didn't stood up for you more than I did. I know that it wasn't just I who lost a friend. You did too. I'm hoping that you'll find better friends that can treat you better than I did. I'm hoping you'll feel better soon too.

I'm never gonna forget you.