Sweet talking... wiriting

Hi! Now I'm writing here... Like I said...

I've been thinking for a long time now that I should write here but never did it! I have no idea why I didn't took my time to write anything of importance into this blog when I thought about it for such a long time... I foung another site to write it on. And that's an excuse even I hate so I'm not using it! Instead.. I'm gonna go ahead to write here!

I've got sleeping problems.. My nightmares are increasing in great numbers, fortunatly I think my phantasy is slowing down a bit and they don't seem as dark as they did in the beginning... So that's good, but I'm not breathing out yet because it could get back to bite my ass... Literally!

I even hade problems with my stomach. It hurts constantly! But I think I know what that depends on... Got a lot to think about...

But other than that I'm fine! After a lot of days passing, weeks even, it feels like my inspiration is turning back to me. Although I need to finish more drawings to my new collection.. so far I only have *counting* three.. I need at least four more! I don't know if I should work on the collection or the story first.... Hmm... Tough one..

And I haven't drink any Cola in a week! I'm dying for a sip! And candy! Meow!! Tomorrow is friday and then I can buy some! Yes! Finally!! COLA!!! CANDY!!

Feeling worse

Iknow, lately I haven't been so social with my friends. I haven't been so active on MSN.. or here. There is no personal reason, there is.. no reason for you to think that I've abandoned you all. I've just been keeping me busy. And I know that's my excuse everytime XD I'm sorry..

Yeah, I have been busy. Not just physically, I mean I have been working on several projects, my head is ready to explode with all these thoughts and my sleeping problems have come back.

Everytime I have a nightmare I sleep through the whole night, but I wake up sweaty and hyperventiling. When I don't have a nightmare I wake up in the middle of the night, super tired, turning and twisting just to get some sleep. So the sleeping problems is making me a little irritated because I'm tired. Also with my high fantasy... My nightmares are not to play with. I had one that came true and the other is really messing with my relationship with a special person. Don't want to talk about it! I'm just saying that this really is mindboggling.

Also I'm drawing a short serie right now for a friend that's not feeling very well. So I put very high expactations of me because I want that serie to be perfect down to every detail. Wich also makes me scared and thinking that she might not like it. That's that, and I'm also working on a small serie to my homepage, I was going to make one page serie, but now my mind gives me ideas for a whole story... So my mind is giving me pieces of scenes for this one page serie that I started with XD So I'm trying to block that while I'm struggeling with my sleep and my nightmares and every drawing I'm doing.

And then I have the story. I'm trying to get me my inspiration back to that but.. The only thing that comes to me is my drawings. So that is keeping me busy too and I also must finish my novels. I have two ideas for my next novels and I just have to write them. But without inspiration to write, I can't write.

And there's two more things but it's private. If you know me you can just ask.

My family is also nagging about me getting a job, and I know I must get it, but I'm doing what I can right now and I can't do more than what I'm doing.. So can everyone just stop nag! Please?

So... Can you now understand why I'm not so social? I've got... A LOT on my mind right now and I'm trying to deal with everything. I'm just hoping that my friends have patients with me and those who don't... Well, how can you expect me to have patient with you if you don't have patient with me?

I feel abandoned and used by a lot of my friends right now. It's probably why I put this up.

Hope you have a better day! Bye everyone!